[SW]: My little story idea..

[TwinShadow]

1. Yuki is the old.
2. Shizuka is the second child.
3. Mariko is the third, and last.

I explained earlier on a process that I did with a friend of mine when we were still doing that story until I ended up quitting that one. For the moment, Mariko has no past, and yet she does exist. I'm still trying to figure everything out and such. All I can say right now is that when Mariko was an infant that she was found by someone, or so the 'rumors' go.

[Frozen Inferno]

Wait... but... gah! Nevermind. Mariko is the youngest, and that's the important thing. Is there a way to have the parents lose a part of their life (say a several month long blackout) if they ended up back in the village? Otherwise, I believe your option is to have them leave the village for some reason and never come back. Before dying or disappearing or whatever, they would have had Mariko.

[TwinShadow]

Again, sometimes I go for traditional methods and other times I don't. This is one of those stories that I might not go 'traditional' in terms of how Mariko came to life. My last reply is when I was like dead-beat tired so, I failed to mention one thing.. (yes, I do that all the time when I should have, I'm stupid that way....) Yuki saw her mother's death right before her eyes while she was trying to protect Shizuka, so of course I can't necessarily do much. I'm still trying to figure out how their father died right now as I'm a bit blank.

[Frozen Inferno]

I know it's cliche'd, but he could have died from a broken heart... Or at the very least, he'd fling himself into dangerous situations to be the hero with survivor's guilt.

[TwinShadow]

I haven't gotten that far yet. So I'm not sure what to do right now. XP Though it is true.. some people do die from broken hearts. o.o;;;

I might have something in the back of my head, but I'm not sure how to go about it yet, but.. I'll post if I come up with something.

[digidested2000]

I haven't gotten that far yet. So I'm not sure what to do right now. XP Though it is true.. some people do die from broken hearts. o.o;;;

I have heard of this happening!

Anyways.
Eagerly look forward to your next brainstorm!

[TwinShadow]

Hmm, I may hold off on their father's death for a bit. I've been doing other things lately that bide my time right now.

For the moment, I need some ideas on how to start off the story so I can get a rough idea of what I want to do to actually begin the process of writing the story. I need ideas to help me get people into the story, get them interested and whatnot. I also need a bit of help on how to introduce the characters as well since this is of course, the first story I'm personally writing myself.

[Frozen Inferno]

Is there a rough draft that you already have that you're willing to show us? Because I find it's easier to give advice when I can see what's already there.

[TwinShadow]

Is there a rough draft that you already have that you're willing to show us? Because I find it's easier to give advice when I can see what's already there.

Sure, I'll try to come up with one in the next week or so. It's hard to think of a story and finish two characters that I have to restart due to my stupid head.. >.< (I deleted my original notes by accident when I thought I had a backup, so now I have to redo them..)

That is, after I toss Linux Mint out the damn window to install a new Linux system on here. I'm tired of the problems I've been having now. If I can crash Windows (anyone can), I sure as hell can crash Linux all I want. I'll have to backup all my stuff for the 5th time already just to see if I can get SOMETHING stable working. (I do not care for Vista after my issues with it, and I don't care for SP1 either, even if it was released)

[TwinShadow]

Ok, disregard about the ages and such in my post on the second page everyone, I realized the current setup is *not* going to work how I intended it in the first place. Here's how they will be in the story:

Momoruki will be 14 years at the start of the story. Shizuka will only be an infant, roughly around 9-10 months of age. The reason for that is because in my head, I've always had Yuki with smaller breasts compared to the others in the village because she's been breastfeeding Shizuka until, of course.. she can eat on her own. (yes, the snow foxes are very set in their ways and the elders made one of the rarest exceptions about it)

As for Mariko, she will begin in the story at around 7 years old, but with difference of about 2 years compared to Shizuka. In turn, that makes Mariko about 2.25 years younger than Shizuka, if that makes any sense. If not, I'll try to make it better somehow...


And as I have said, it took me an hour to think of a prototype introduction, but.. I now have something to go on, I hope...... Maybe it'll enlighten some of y'all on how I'm actually going to tell the story. Now, if for some reason it doesn't, then I can explain how I'm going to tell the actual story since I know it comes from an anime that's on the tip of my tongue.. just can't think of what it is... You can get the document in the attachment, and it should work with Microsoft Word, but I'm not sure.. (I make many spelling mistakes when I have a headache..)

[digidested2000]

Small problems with the grammar, but that's easily fixed.
The story seems interesting enough, and I like the style you're using.
Uh... not much else to say, other'n "keep it up", I s'pose.

[TwinShadow]

I get F's in my English class, the grammar sucks, I know that. =P Any touches I could do to it?

[digidested2000]

Uh...
Well, considering it's your opening, I'm gonna say 'no'.
It works quite well for an opening, giving us just enough info to understand the bare basics while keeping most details from us to be (hopefully) revealed later.

[TwinShadow]

I was hoping to make it just a touch longer, but I suppose if that works, I might be able to start soon.

Anyway, the touches I was referring to was the grammar and such. So... yeah, that's what I need. I also noticed a mistake I made in the first paragraph that I fixed on my side..
"These demon are known as snow foxes; demons who have been known to the snow at their whim." - That was the original..
"These demon are known as snow foxes; demons who have been known to control snow at their whim." This is the fixed one.

I'm known to make quite a few mistakes sometimes when I have a headache, but sometimes I like to get things done even with one.. -_- Oh well, that's just me anyway.

[digidested2000]

If you want, I wouldn't mind proofreading the finished result.
I will warn you, however, that I get bouts of laziness and may read, er, slowly. If at all.